The Sashman Speaks

So lets see what has happened lately.. i have been working for the local cable access tv station filming local community events mainly school board and local town meetings which i mean if it was the town i lived in I would be more concerned about what was going on.. but yet thankfully i get paid nicely for it and i mean I also have been able to choose a few events of my choosing such as about a month ago i got to film some local basketball games, and also a few musical events which always bring back memories.  So what else I have been doing.. well I still go to the gym about 2/3 times a week which has helped me keep my weight steady and my blood sugars down my last A1c was about 9.2 which is still not where I want it but  I am hoping that the next check it will be around 8. whatelse..  I have once again signed up with the NHBUA BUD  Baseball Umpire Development program been going once a week to umpiring classes so once again when the weather clears up in april I will be back behind the ...

so lets see what have i been upto this past month.. well the month started out with my totaling my subaru in a 1 car accident that i bounced off of a set of guardrails knocking my bumper clean off the car and destroying my headlight and ruining the engine and yeah it was a total loss.. so went through the headache of dealing with the insurance company and the bank where my loan was kept and finally have the debt paid off .  SO the question then was now what do i drive so my parents made the decision to buy a new car and so we bought a new 2009 toyota matrix and so far i love the car it doesn't the greatest gas mileage but it gets me from a-b.   Whatelse.. I have decided to once again take the NHBUA Baseball Umpiring Development classes which i took about 4 years ago.. hopefully this time I can actually focus and pass my two test the field test not soo concerned about but the written one more concerned about.  But i have talked with a couple of my friends about getting some help goi...

Do you ever feel like you are trapped in a glass dome that no matter how hard you try to get out you are just TRAPPED.. the only voice you hear is your own, the only face you see is your own. there are no hopes, dreams, aspirations, just you and your thoughts screams, yells, no matter how loud you scream/yell nobody can hear you.   I just feel soo trapped.. I keep searching for jobs but yet no one is hiring. I look for jobs that I can do but yet my skills don't match the requirements.. or that my physical limitation prevent me from applying for those jobs that most people can do.  I live in such a small area that there really aren't many jobs available and those that are (mainly cashering) I am soo burned out from that because of my last experience working at a local food coop that I just can't deal with it again but yet whatelse is there for me to do??? answer NOTHING there really isn't anything i can do.  For one I dont have a job which there lacks the result of havin...

Well my old year ended quite miserably I lost my job on new years eve day after working my shift i was told by my manager that due to not having enough hours to go around management ( which he had only found out maybe a few hours before) was told to cut all people that were hired as temp workers which meant ME..  SO after working there for just over a month and a few weeks I lost my job and it really hurt.. I really loved it at borders the people the atmosphere everything I even got used to waking up at 4, 5 and 6 in the morning so I could be there to work and on a couple of occasions was there an hour before we even opened the store just sitting in the parking lot.  SO what have i been doing since then.. I have been meeting with a few different agencies to help with not only finding a job but finding one that fits my abilities and is something that I would enjoy doing. However the person in charge of my case isn't really that in tuned with me and doesn't really understand wher...

So let me think I haven't updated this since late november and quite a lot has happened.. I got myself a new kitten after the death of my 17 year old one and she is quite a handful but worth every second that I am with her.. her name is mitzvah or mitzy ( it means blessing in hebrew) but pretty much after bringing her home as part of my family my cat of 9 years quickly became sick and on december 6 after already been brought to the vet and told that he was just very sick and given a shot and to give him time to heal and recover I had to take him to an emergency vet. Sadly he didn't make it and died in my arms * the third cat in the past 4 months to die in my arms) SO yeah that was quite a shock..  So beside dealing with a lot of the pain and hurt from that I have been turning most of my attention towards work. I have worked at borders for just over a month and I love it! I LOVE the people the atmosphere everything.. and I don't really mind the hours I have had to wake up at...

So for those of you that read this I chose to put my cat of 17 years to sleep today. She had been getting weaker and weaker and two nights ago she lost control of her hind paws and has spend the past two days/nights just sleeping her breathing becoming more shallow but never fully stopping.  I went to work today at 6:30 and came home around 12:30 and like usual she looked up at me using all her strength that she still had gave me a lil tigey smile and purred to aknowledge that I was with her. So we left at 12:30 to go to the vet and usually tigey HATES cars and car rides but today she just laid in my lap and slept.. at around 1:00 the vet came in and administered the shot and she winced a lil bit but in about 10 seconds her heart had stopped and she was gone.  I can still recall many of the details of when I first met tigey i was playing super bases loaded in our other room when my dad called upstairs saying he had a surprise for me. I came downstairs was told to close my eyes and when...

well lets see work is going well and wednesday i begin my normal work hours of 7-11 am which means waking up at 6 am again something i haven't done in a very long time.... over 8 years since highschool but i am confident that once i get back into the swing of things i will be okay. Other than that I am doing pretty good been spending time with some friends and just enjoying life.. I had a good talk with my sister who lives in brooklyn ny and we are working on a possible trip of me coming down to visit her and to also see a broadway show with her.. this was/is her birthday/xmas/chunnukah present to me which is just goign way above and beyond anything that she has ever done so I am really looking forward to it.   Other than that I have a doctors appointment this thursday to talk with my diabetes educators about whether or not I will be a good candidate to go onto an insulin pump which my endocrinologist and I think would probably be the next step in trying to get my diabetes under co...