Skip to main content
Do you ever feel like you are trapped in a glass dome that no matter how hard you try to get out you are just TRAPPED.. the only voice you hear is your own, the only face you see is your own. there are no hopes, dreams, aspirations, just you and your thoughts screams, yells, no matter how loud you scream/yell nobody can hear you.
  I just feel soo trapped.. I keep searching for jobs but yet no one is hiring. I look for jobs that I can do but yet my skills don't match the requirements.. or that my physical limitation prevent me from applying for those jobs that most people can do.
 I live in such a small area that there really aren't many jobs available and those that are (mainly cashering) I am soo burned out from that because of my last experience working at a local food coop that I just can't deal with it again but yet whatelse is there for me to do??? answer NOTHING there really isn't anything i can do.  For one I dont have a job which there lacks the result of having an income which makes wanting to get out of here even harder. 2. with once again no money paying my bills is much harder even with reluctantly allowing my parents to help me with small things i still have a car payment insurance and a credit card to pay for.. not to mention that I have had to apply for foodstamps, social security disability and still with no prospects of jobs I am soo lost..
 to make matters seem a lil worse I have no real friends that are around. most of them are off on their own starting their careers or getting married or enjoying finishing up college .. what am i doing? I am sitting in my room night after night wishing for once that I was able to finish college or call a friend and get a drink but yet I can't.
I have had some volunteer oppertunities but yet those won't help me pay the bills. 
I guess plain and simple I am stuck  I am stuck in the middle of at situation where I am not the only one but yet i just dont know where to turn because every where I am turning I am seeing doors closing in my face or my once dreams moving farther and farther into the darkness with very limited possibilites of ever coming true
 All I want is to be happy is that too much to ask?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Soo today was a very light day. Had no control games or innings, but did have some time out on the drill field to get back into the habit of doing routine plays to get back into the swing of full umpiring.  Sadly I also started to realize how cutthroat this business can be.  Soo due to my injuries I haven't fully been at full health, as well as my other physical issues, have made my career has an umpire not the easiest of things to do.  I usually often in pain from my legs to my back and I do my best to push through it to continue to work my game, and due to the pain I may not look at athletic or graceful as other guys out there on the field, but I do my best.    One of the guys that I have gotten to know here at school, told me that sadly there have been a few guys that have snickered and made fun of me behind my back. He told me, not to worry about that, that the situation had been taken care of and that I should just focus on my game. To hear that a guy t...
Post a Comment
Read more

A New Hall of Fame Class

As a young kid growing up I grew up on the heroes of the game, Ruth, Dimaggio, Mantle, Williams etc.  As I continued to grow up and watch the game of baseball grow and mature like I did, I was always excited to see what new legends were going to get to be immortalized into the Baseball Hall of Fame.   I've been lucky enough to visit the Hall of Fame on multiple occasions including as a kid with my dad, as a member of my high school baseball team on two occasions.   To now watch as more players that I grew up watching in the late 80's 90's and early 2000's it just reminds me of how wonderful this game truly and really is. I'll end this quick post with one of my favorite quotes from my favorite movie, Field of Dreams, "
Post a Comment
Read more
Soo as we finished up week # 4 and start towards the home stretch, I am amazed at how fast this experience has gone.  I have waited over 3 years for this experience and to be on the fields working and learning and gaining experience that hopefully I will be able to use in order to become a better umpire, then I was before I came here.  Also getting to know and meet the instructors has been amazing. To personally get to talk with and get to know this guys that I have watched for years on tv and to just see them and talk with them has been a great learning experience.  As the guys have hammered into us, "Don't leave this experience with any regrets." I am definitely not going to do that. Even with my knee injury, I never stopped I kept fighting and learning and busting my ass to get back on the field, and I can tell everyone that I will not have any regrets when I come home, I will have left everything out on the field and will have made each and everyone of you that has...
Post a Comment
Read more