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These past couple of weeks haven't been the easiest for me to go thorough but thats life right, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? Well with that in mind here is a lil bit of what has gone on. I have gone out a couple of times, but sadly nothing too serious has worked out, though on the other hand I met really cool people that have become friends !

However, I am continuing to feel like I am not getting respected and being mistreated by people who call themselves my friends. I know that I am not the easiest person to deal with and to be friends with, but I try and give my heart and my ear, my advise and my friendship to anyone who wants to be my friend, and all I ask is that I be treated with the same in return. Is that too much to ask? maybe it is I don't know, but I am getting a lil tired of always being there for friends but then when I am in need of someone to talk with there really isn't anyone who is there, and if they are they aren't really wanting to deal with me, even though if the roles were reversed I am there for them
I mean I just feel like I continuously getting too involved too quickly and then I am unsure of what to do because I am afraid that I will either loose that person or something and in the end I loose control. I am terrified of what happened this past fall, reocurring because that scared the shit out of me and I keep trying to not become too dependent on others and I am really trying to rebuild my confidence but its just it feels like I am taking 1000000 steps backwards everytime I take a small baby step forward. I just keep trying and trying but lately it feels like the strength I put into fighting and clawing is starting to drain...

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