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NO MORE MR NICE GUY

to those who read this or not i really don't care because it is my personal thoughts and feelings that I am putting down and personally I could give two shits if you like what I say.
 I have over the past few weeks had lot of stuff that I have been dealing with from the continue struggle to find a job and to pursue any lead for a job that I think I can do to having a few instances where my temper which I usually keep pretty much under control has risen to the surface and for quick moments bubbled over.
 I had a talk with a few people last night and it came to my realization that I really need to rediscover myself and to find who I am again..  I thought I had an idea of who that was but after talking I realized that I am still pretty confused as to who I am and who I want to be. I have been used and abused by many different people in different ways in my lifetime and I have been way to trusting and have always said well thats okay I know you didn't mean it and stuff like that and have been a coward at times and haven't told people how I feel  because I didn't want to hurt their "precious" fucking feelings.. well you know something I am done with that I am not going to continue to put my feelings on the line just for someone to step all over them because I am done with that shit and I am going to do my best to prevent that from happening. 
I am really confident that over the forseeable future i will hopefully have a job that I enjoy or at least can put up with.. I will be doing some more volunteering for the obama campaign which is in critical need of having me come back to ( well not exactly they have a lot of volunteers but it was something that really did enjoy doing)
 So the new sashman begins tonight! btw  GO RED SOX!!!  KICK THOSE ANGELS ASSES AND SWEEP THEM AGAIN

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