The Sashman Speaks

well tomorrow at 8:15 in the morning i will officially become a quarter of a century years of age. Over this past year a lot of stuff has gone on. I have had a long term relationship end horribly and have begun slowly moving on after beginning to accept that this break up was not my fault but was inevitable that it was going to end.  I am taking a year off from college and have moved back home and was working at one job for a couple of months and now starting next week I begin my new job at borders bookstore.  I have really grown up a lot in a year and have begun to really understand what it means to be a adult with responsibilities and with trying to live up to my own expectations and not try to live up to anyone else's.  I have had my ups and downs and have come through it stronger than I really think I could have. I know that there is still alot of growing and learning to come and it is something that I am looking forward to with an open mind and a willingness to do my best and ...

to those who read this or not i really don't care because it is my personal thoughts and feelings that I am putting down and personally I could give two shits if you like what I say.  I have over the past few weeks had lot of stuff that I have been dealing with from the continue struggle to find a job and to pursue any lead for a job that I think I can do to having a few instances where my temper which I usually keep pretty much under control has risen to the surface and for quick moments bubbled over.  I had a talk with a few people last night and it came to my realization that I really need to rediscover myself and to find who I am again..  I thought I had an idea of who that was but after talking I realized that I am still pretty confused as to who I am and who I want to be. I have been used and abused by many different people in different ways in my lifetime and I have been way to trusting and have always said well thats okay I know you didn't mean it and stuff like that an...

SO a lil update..  I have a job interview on tuesday at a local borders bookstore as a possible "book seller/ cashier/sales associate" I am quite anxious about this interview because in all honesty I need this job. Not just for having a job but i need it so i can begin to get my life back on track. This past month has been one that I do not want to see continue. I have become more edgy and have snapped at my parents more frequently for lil things but it is I think because I am just frustrated. I left my previous job because I just didn't feel the work conditions were right for me. I didn't appreciate the rudeness of customers, the hectic paced atmosphere and the routine of every night counting the drawer and coming in the next morning finding out i was off (off by a lil bit .5 .10 .15 one day 50$ but still to think you have something down and to come in and find you were wrong just shoots that confidence down to hardly zero)   SO to get beyond the initial interview ph...