Skip to main content
When I think of who I am or look at myself what do I see...I see a man who every day wakes up hoping that that today will be better then last. I see someone who has been through soo much pain and heart ache that I wonder How I keep staying soo postive
I see A fighter someone who will will continue each and every day to try and make myself a better person
I see someone who still has soo much potential that I have yet to reach. I see someone who is a friend, brother, son,
Why is it that when I look at myself I think that I am a failure??? why is it that I see someone who no matter what I do I am never satisfied or I think that I am not living upto all this potential
I am scared of possibly never reaching my full potential.
I am scared that I will always feel like I have underachieved
I am scared I will not be the person that people hope I will be.I think that the lyrics to the Weepies song " Can't Go Back Now" fits what I am feeling


"Yesturday when you were young
everything you needed done
was done for you now you do
it on your own but you find
your all alone what can you do

you[you] and me[me]
walk on, walk on, walk on
cause you cant go back now

you know there will be days
when your so tired that you cant
take another step
now you will have no stars
and you'll think you've
gone as far as you'll ever get

you[you],and me[me]
walk on, walk on, walk on
cause you cant go back now

yeah,yeah
go where you want to go
yeah, yeah
be what you want to be
if you ever turn around you'll
see me

i can't really say why everybody
wishes they were some where else
but in the end the only steps that
matter are the ones you take all
by yourself

and you[you],and me[me]
walk on, walk on, walk on
yeah,you[you],and me[me]
walk on, walk on, walk on
cause you cant go back now
walk on, walk on, walk on

I will continue to walk on and hopefully those in my life when I turn around will be behind me encouraging, supporting, lifting me up, and will continue to be my support system

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Soo today was a very light day. Had no control games or innings, but did have some time out on the drill field to get back into the habit of doing routine plays to get back into the swing of full umpiring.  Sadly I also started to realize how cutthroat this business can be.  Soo due to my injuries I haven't fully been at full health, as well as my other physical issues, have made my career has an umpire not the easiest of things to do.  I usually often in pain from my legs to my back and I do my best to push through it to continue to work my game, and due to the pain I may not look at athletic or graceful as other guys out there on the field, but I do my best.    One of the guys that I have gotten to know here at school, told me that sadly there have been a few guys that have snickered and made fun of me behind my back. He told me, not to worry about that, that the situation had been taken care of and that I should just focus on my game. To hear that a guy t...
Post a Comment
Read more

What a LIFE

So let me think I haven't updated this since late november and quite a lot has happened.. I got myself a new kitten after the death of my 17 year old one and she is quite a handful but worth every second that I am with her.. her name is mitzvah or mitzy ( it means blessing in hebrew) but pretty much after bringing her home as part of my family my cat of 9 years quickly became sick and on december 6 after already been brought to the vet and told that he was just very sick and given a shot and to give him time to heal and recover I had to take him to an emergency vet. Sadly he didn't make it and died in my arms * the third cat in the past 4 months to die in my arms) SO yeah that was quite a shock..  So beside dealing with a lot of the pain and hurt from that I have been turning most of my attention towards work. I have worked at borders for just over a month and I love it! I LOVE the people the atmosphere everything.. and I don't really mind the hours I have had to wake up at...
Post a Comment
Read more

A New Year, A New Me?

So with it now being 2021, My hope is that things will start to get better, ( like most everyone else). I have continued to struggle with some of the same issues, that I had in previous years, mostly my health (physical, mental/emotional being the main two.  A lot of the health issues are due to my diabetes, which this September will be 21 years that I was diagnosed.  It has been a roller coaster over these past two decades, but I am always doing my best to maintain as good “control” as I can. However, it continues to be a frustrating situation, especially when there is so much disconnect between doctor’s offices, pharmacies, and of course the biggest brick wall ever, the Insurance Company.   While I was living back in Vermont, I was truly lucky to have some of the best health care that was available to me at the time.  However, since moving to Florida, eight years ago this July, I have found that its a constant battle to be able to not only get my insulin covered, b...
Post a Comment
Read more