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So the Holidays are coming

So the holidays are coming.... should I be excited bout this? I mean I guess i should be but I 'm not really excited about it because there really isn't much to be joyous about right now. my family has like most families been dealing with the economy and the fact that money is tight.. but yet its really hitting me a little harder then usual. I have been unable to secure a job in the past year other then umpiring which only lasts for 3 months and working as a free lance videographer which sadly there aren't a lot of events that are needing to be filmed so I don't get asked to film which means I don't get jobs=no money which makes things a lot tougher especially when my family has had to reduce its spending to tighten the budget and to try and make ends meet. I have tried to do my part by applying for some state run programs from foodstamps and medicaid to sadly disability.
However, foodstamps doesn't help as much as I would and in regards to my disability application keeps getting pushed and postponed etc.. then when it comes to the job situation i feel like there isn't anything I can do to help. I try and try to find jobs and yet I keep getting passed over, or not even get my application looked at.
Then there is the fact that since sadly do to a lot of reasons I wasn't able to complete my education and I am only 1 year away from graduating and have had to take the past 2 years off in hopes of trying to earn money and find a job, but the economy and the job market around my area is dryer then most and its very hard unless you have a degree to get your foot into the door in some instances.
SO yeah its very difficult for me right now to be joyous about the holidays, I don't have any money to get my family anything, not that the holidays are about gifts buying and exchanging but yet its nice to try and get a few things but yet i won't be able to do that this year.
I mean i am glad to be able to see my sister again and to talk with her and such so thats pretty much the good thing about the holidays but, i wish there was just a bit more optimism that i could posses.

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